A short skit to read in the style of Monty Python’s Cheese Shop
Bush: As a member of the axis of evil and state sponsor of terrorism, Iran is actively seeking nuculer weapons.
Press: Do you have proof?
Bush: Why of course we have proof. It’s how this administration operates. We operate in the realm of truth. Truth is – well – truth. If it wasn’t truth, it would be lies, and we do not lie.
Press: May we see it? This proof?
Bush: Well, it’s classified, but trust me. We have it.
Press: Well, I have here in my hand an intelligence report which details that Iran stopped its nuclear program in 2003.
Bush: Ah, I see. Well, there is that, I suppose. But I’m afraid it’s a bit overstated. You see. They WERE actively seeking weapons of mass destruction and may do so again. If they restart, which is probable, they could have them in a few years. They could then use them to attack.
Press: You just told us that they were actively engaged in a program to build nuclear weapons. We now find out that they stopped and are not seeking to build nuclear weapons. How is that truth?
Bush: Ah, well, I did say that, didn’t I. Look, this President defines "thinking about building nuclear weapons" as part of the process of obtaining nuclear weapons. You see, you have to think about it. That’s research. Some of that research could go on in the heads of scientists. Who am I to say that they are not thinking about it actively right now? Can you say what they are thinking about? They could be thinking about it. And that’s enough for me. It could be a threat to the US or our interests if the Iranians are thinking about building a nuclear weapon.
Bush: You see. Thought leads to action. If you are thinking about something, then you are actively engaged in the process of doing it. It is my job as Commander in Chief to head off these programs of thought that exist to destroy the United States. Would you rather that we go about our business while they think their dirty little terrorist thoughts? I don’t think so. That is why I reserve the right to think about attacking Iran for their dirty little thoughts.