Dear City of New York,
It has come to our attention that you have been considering changing the tone of your Thanksgiving Day Parade. We note with interest the throngs of people cheating death by avoiding falling lamp posts. We have been observing our annual running of the bulls (Festival de San Fermín) for hundreds of years and we view your attempt to copy us as pathetic and ill advised. First, you don’t know how to do it right. Second, our lawyers have a lot more experience with liability. Besides people being mauled in the street was our idea first.
So, in closing, stop hitting handicapped women with lamposts hurled by renegade balloons and stop promoting your city as the best destination for those who wish to cheat death.
That’s our shtick.
Sincerely,
The City of Pamplona, Spain
P.S. The irony of using the work "shtick" is not lost on us.