How about not?  How about if we said that pulling out of Iraq wouldn’t have disastrous consequences – or put a different way: Why are we supposing that for us to get tired and pull out early would be the end of the western world as we know it?  Why are we playing that card?

So, let’s say I’m one of the terrorists.  What scenario would make me blissfully happy?  What scheme, plan, strategy spoon-fed to me by my adversary, allowing me to not tire my little mind with hard thoughts, or having to be book smart, or know geo-politics, foreign policy or even to have read Sun Tzu’s Art of War – would be like a gift from Allah?  What gift could be so great, so timely, so wonderfully selected just for me and my little comrades, ready made like a Pillsbury ready-bake biscuit roll… one of the ones that goes pop,  I love that – that I would fall on my knees in gratitude.

What little gift is the gift that keeps on giving?  A stupid enemy.

Why, tell me exactly what I have to do to win this thing.  "I say to you my comrades, look at them, they are tired, they are in-fighting, and they have told us that all we have to do is hold out for a little while longer, and we will have victory and their way of life will die dying dead like an infidel’s dead dying stinky dog that smells.  Straight from the camel’s mouth, they have said it.  To lose would be the worst possible thing.  Take heart, my brothers, we are close."

You see?!  All they have to do is re-double their efforts hang on a little longer and we are screwed. 

We – are – so – stupid, my teeth hurt.

So, what should we be doing?  What should we be saying?

Look, this is no big deal – we have already won.  The Iraqi people have already conquered the enemy.  They are marching toward prosperity.  We should be saying that victory is assured whether we pull out or not.  And if we do pull out soon, we will declare victory and go with pride having accomplished the mission.  Failure?  Not a chance, because we have already won.  Say it over and over and over and over again, until it sinks into that tiny stupid acorn-sized cell-bundle you call a brain.  Like any confederate flag waving KKK rally attending red-neck racist you fascist islamists don’t realize you lost the war.  It’s over.  It’s been over.  The world is moving on.  There is NO CHANCE of disaster striking.  No amount of car bombs, suicide bombs, shootings will change that.   You lost.  Even if we leave, you’ve still lost.

All you can do now is put your little Al Qaida bumper sticker on your little shit-hole pickup truck full of watermelons and drive your sorry ass on over to the Walmart to buy yourself some scented Christmas candles and a Coca Cola.