I’m so gnarled up, spasms in my back, shoulders hunched. I labor in a Sisyphean purgatory where I can’t see the hand in front of my face for the nacho haze.

I figured out today what it was, and I’m furious with the News Media for perpetuating this Trump bullshit. They’ve made my life far more noxious than it had to be. With all the shit we have to deal with, I could have done without the invented drama, manipulated emotions. They have known exactly what they were doing and who the Donald has been all along.

Laura and I laughed when he bought the Miss Universe pageant. Oh, lordy lordy, Donald’s got his hand in the cookie jar again. We knew who he was. We saw those creepy interviews way back when.

Hell, we have all known who he was since the 80’s. He was a gauche, tasteless braggart, a womanizer,  a short-fingered vulgarian sitting on a gold-plated toilet . We all made fun of him for his bankruptcies, his crazy deals, his even crazier hair. Remember folks, that ridiculous hair of his has been around for the past thirty years at least. How could anyone have ever taken this Miami Vice era cringe-worthy moron seriously? Like a seventies era muscle car he was all excess and slop.

And smell those fumes.

The only explanation I can think of is this: the news media has cynically and deliberately manipulated the news cycle to drill those fields of reality show ratings.

“Bully!” the bosses shouted, “Boys, keep the cycle stoked with that unscripted high sulfur content and the circus – oh the circus – by gum, keep it going as long as possible. Keep those belching fires roaring! That’s industrial politics, m’boy!”

Oh, yeah, the fields would wain, the atmosphere so toxic that you can scarcely see the sun or take a breath.  We knew the Donald was going to go down, that the reserves would be exhausted, but profits demanded we ride him in to his last combustive belch.

* Sad update on 9 Nov. Well, boys, we’ve found a new reserve. It’s a real gusher, and should be good for another 4 years. Hurrah!