I opened the freezer and my heart leapt for joy. There they
were, chocolate chip cookies with their delicious golden brown tops
and their moist frozen goodness. In a moment though, my hopes were
dashed as I realized they were burned on the bottom. Why? Why, I
beseech thee, why do you taunt me? WHY!?

“Hon, I’m gonna throw these cookies out. Every time I open
the freezer, I see them and I feel a joy so profound that I believe I
may collapse to my knees in a quivering mass. Yet only a millisecond later I
must bear the pathos of tragedy. I can’t take it I tell you. I
can’t take it. I have enough drama in my life without having to
endure this, these mocking cookies, with their lying tops and their
false hopes. Hey, that’s like a metaphor, you know, like life. All
of the universe and the struggle of human existence contained in an
infinitesimal period of frozen time. Hey that’s very literary, isn’t
it? Hon? Isn’t it?”

“Yes dear, go ahead and throw them out.”