All a man needs out of life is a place to sit ‘n’ spit in the fire.

Category: Stories (Page 4 of 4)

For those writings both fiction and non-fiction that tell a story beyond the banal. They might be banal, but that’s just on the surface. It need not be non-fiction to be true.

Two Hot Chicks in a Susuki

I was riding up E 14th St in Oakland, when a Susuki Samurai or some
such vehicle came up along side me and proceeded to make a right turn.

"Hey!" I yelled swerving off onto the other street.

Oblivious to my scream, the two girls replied, "Heeeeeey-ee," a
nondescript reply as if awakened from a slumber. I yelled for them to
watch where they were going and continued on my way.

"And they want equal rights, " came the words of a grizzled beared man
in a blue pickup. On the back it had a confederate flag bumper sticker,
the words Old Fart on another, and a VA sticker in the rear window of
the camper shell. A yellow, mut leaned its head out the window, tongue
wagging in the wind.

I said nothing to the man. I accepted his words as a statement of
solidarity. He had seen what had happened, the lack of remorse by the
two women, and was reaching out to a brother. ‘Hey man, I’m there for
you."

I still shook my head, though. It could have just as easily been a
couple of whites that might have cut me off. In fact, it’s happened
more often than I want to remember. In fact, once it was a cop. Cut me
off in an intersection. I yelled, "Hey!" which always seems to work.
It’s not as offensive as "Hey, fuck you!" but still pucent enough to
drive home the point. Would that it were a horn. They’re so
inoffensive, insomuch as people don’t take them as personal insults of
their family or some such thing. They don’t feel obliged to get out of
their car and chase after you with a tire iron (chapter 7).

The cop guns the engine of his Crown Victoria cruiser and very firmly and clearly yells, "Hey, fuck you!"

I remember the blue Ford pickup man’s soft words as well meaning but ignorant. I shook my head and pedaled on.

ZZZZhuuuuummmmm, came the tires, "EEEeeeeeeee. Heeeeeeeyy-eee, we’re
sorry" Vrrrroooomm. There was the Suzuki, dodging and skipping catching
up to me. An attractive buxum black woman leaned out the window.
"Heeeeeyyy-eee, we’re sorry. We didn’t mean to cut you off."

"That’s all right, " I yelled back in disbelief.

They skidded off, and stopped at a red light next to the blue Ford. I
pulled up and leaned on the door frame. "That’s the first time anyone’s
every apologized to me for cutting me off. Thanks, " I said smiling.

"We’re sorry. We didn’t mean it." She giggled and smiled.

And there was the man in the Blue Ford pickup. He had his dog, and his
bumper stickers, and his beard. I wish I could have said something to
make him feel more like a brother.

To Build a House

Specialist Canon gave the clutch a push and rolled the 5 ton over a
dusty road. It was 0700 and already hot as hell. SPC Canon had his BDU
jacket off and stuffed behind the seat. He was wearing an issue brown
tee shirt, his BDU pants, and construction hard hat.

"Sir, it’s just around the corner. We’ll drop the stuff and come back around 0900 after formation."

"Fine, that’s good." I looked at the small houses as we rumbled past.
To call them houses was generous, though. They we little more than
pieces of driftwood banded together into makeshift platforms under tin
roofs. Their long legs looked like crooked old men, windows little more
than gap tooth grins.

I glanced at the two soldiers in the back sucking in the heat, stoic
enough though, basking in the dust cloud that settled over them as the
truck came to stops. They were perched atop piles of lumber, plywood,
tools, and a box of nails.

"You know it’s my ass, if anybody catches us, " I turned and leaned my arm out the side of the truck.

"Pffphht, sir, you know everybody always blames the SPC. Yer ass… my ass!"

I laughed, "Well, that’s because the specialist knows everything. How
do you expect a Lieutenient to have organized all this by himself."

"That’s what I’m saying, nobody would believe it… an then it’s PFC
Canon. Shit, then I got to go get new rank sewed on, that’s a shitload
of money for 16 uniforms."

He was grinning now, and I winked back at him. I would be the fall guy
for sure, an officer with a bunch of lower enlisteds, stealing project
supplies and running off to God knows where. I understood him though. I
got yer back, sir. We’ll all play dumb, just relax, an’ we’ll get you
through this.

I think he understood me too. You guys were just following orders. You
were with an officer, so you were just doing what he told you to.
Nobody got killed, or hurt, so after a reprimand…

My career would be over, though. Beats having to sew new rank on 16
uniforms. I laughed to myself. Funny how people communicate in the
Army. Last night, while in the showers, I listened to a couple of
enlisteds talk shit to each other, a past time that military men seem
to have mastered.

"How much you pay for your apartment?"

"Shit, I pay $700."

"Fuck, that’s nothing, I pay $800."

"Yeah, well with utilities and condo fees, mine actually works out to $900."

"Shit, man, what’s your old lady do?"

"Spends my money."

Snicker. "Man, how much does she spend a week?"

"Fuck, all I get is a six pack, and a TV guide…"

"Sucks to be you."

It’s kind of nice taking a shower, not to wear rank. People don’t act
as themselves when you’ve got officer’s rank on. If they don’t know
you, they look figety, uncomfortable. It made me uneasy watching them
sometimes. And then there were the older guys, Master Sergeants and
First Sergeants (1SG). They don’t fear, which is good, but then they
feel the need to bluster. "Damn kid, ain’t been around for but a couple
of years. Put that damn rank on him. He’s my kid’s age, for God’s sake."

Either way, they act differently when you are in uniform. It’s nice to
take a shower. You wash off more than just the dirt and sweat.

I smiled, "Sucks to be you."

"Yeah, shit." He went back to washing his face.

I lifted the brim of my cap and mopped the sweat from my brow. The
jungle was starting to steam now as mists lifted from the valleys and
crags. They looked like full bowls of cream, or maybe big steaming mugs
of coffee, with the rich savory aroma of wet, oxygen laden air. I
started to feel sweat soak into my back where it was pressed against
the canvas seat cover.

This part of Panama was rugged and breathtaking. Craggy, and
mountainous, it didn’t look like I had always pictured jungles. The
peaks were like shards of bright green glass pushed up from the earth.
Looked so sharp, you might get cut.

We were climbing now, up and out of the valley of coffee cups. The mist
lay shimmering behind us as we trudged along. I could see the whole
coast now, as irregular as the rest of the landscape. There were a
million little inlets and harbors each with a mad bull kicking to get
at the rolling undulating ocean, straining at the gates, like with one
little kick, and they would come charging out of their pens.

"Sir, we gonna kick yer ass in cards tonight?" SPC Canon taunted.

"Quit talkin’ yer smack, Canon. We’ve already kicked yer ass 3 times."

"Outa how many, sir? Ten maybe? And fer the last three I didn’t have my
partner. Tonight, it’s gonna be different." He mimicked throwing down a
card, "Smack. Take that."

I shook my head. "Canon, Canon, Canon… when you gonna learn. All
right, we’re gonna see." He was better at Hearts than me, we had been
playing all week. Some would call it fraternizing. While the other
officers were off in their own little stress world, I was hanging out
with my troops. I figured it was a good way to keep an eye on them.
Yeah, familiarity was maybe a little too easy for them now, but I have
their respect.

"Uh, oh." SPC Canon said. "Sir we’re busted."

I looked ahead. There was a check point. It’s Sunday, and our day off.
Why were they having a check point? "Relax, I’ll take this one." I
jumped down from the truck and trotted over to the MP, a burly
Specialist, with a chip on his shoulder. It goes with the territory of
MP’s. Most of them are bored to tears, so a little action really gets
them going.

"Sir, where are you headed with those soldiers?"

"We’re taking wood to the abuttment work site in Adelante. It’s our day
off, " I volunteered, "but we’ve got a lot of work to do Monday, so we
wanted to get a head start."

"Okay, that’s fine, sir. But you can’t go this way. They’re setting up
to repave over here. Tell your work crew to reroute around Adelante for
tomorrow."

"Thank you, Specialist, I’ll pass it along to my commander." I trotted back to the 5 ton, and pulled myself up into the cab.

"Way to go, sir." SPC Canon grinned.

"See, this bar comes in handy once in a while. Any other requests?"

He smiled a crooked smile, "You can get yer ass whooped tonight in Hearts."

We drove on.

"There it is, sir." Canon said pointed to a brightly colored stick
shack. Looks like some the boards had come from an old bilboard,

I wondered who told them they were poor.

Cut from the land in their irregular shapes too, were the small houses
of the Panamanians with brown-faced children standing on front porches
shouting and waving. I waved back.

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