El Gringoqueño

Well, mostly they are necessary because I consider myself one. With that said, there is some truth to this though.

Where did we get this idea that complaining never helped anything? Where did we get the idea that those who talk ill of the establishment rather than "Be quiet and suck it up" or "Make it work" or "Be a team player" are somehow miscreants and to be shunned?

Did you ever stop to ask yourself how all movements for change begin? Did you ever wonder how a society, organization, or government changes direction?

It starts with the complainers.

It starts with people who won’t be quiet in their discomfort. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a complainer. Thomas Jefferson was a complainer. Abolitionists were complainers. The fourth branch of government, the news media, is a big fat loud whiner. Everybody who has ever resisted the status quo is a whiner and a complainer.

We need whiners and complainers. They save lives.

Let’s not undervalue our complainers and whiners. Without them/us you’d all think you were happy until it was too late.

Biological and language variations are constants of the human condition. As we walk this earth and congregate, language tends to change and evolve at the same time it holds onto pieces at its core. Language becomes a venue ripe for misunderstandings. In our complicated and segregated modern life, it is easy to live in a city with 7 million people, speak the same language and yet not understand our neighbor. There is an ever growing need to pay attention to the variations in language styles. The economy of speech creeps in to facilitate conversation between parties that share common experiences. Whether we are hanging out on the corner, working in a deli, or at a physics lab, we each easily dominate many language styles. Our days are full of examples of heteroglossia, and yet strangers meet and think they understand each other. Inevitably though, there is a "you people!" and "but you said!" Our expressions vary and our differences seem insurmountable.

I believe a handy translation would save us from unnecessary strife and aggression.

1. Christian-speak: God has a plan for your life.

   Science-speak translation: Your unique set of circumstances including DNA, talents, upbringing, and environment, have the possibility of an optimal outcome. It is up to you to figure out for which optimal lifepath you are suited. All others are suboptimal although not necessarily wrong.
   

2. Christian-speak: Accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior.

   Science-speak translation: The cosmos or universe or some first-cause event has yielded a sequence of steps all of which have lead to your existence. We don’t care why, it is irrelevant for the purposes of this problem set. What we do know is that all your ancestors, all past life has lead up to you since the beginning of time. Does that humble you in any way? Great! Now you need to open yourself and listen. Read #3 for further explanation.
   

3. Christian-speak: Jesus died for your sins.

   Science-speak translation: I’m just saying, don’t let imprecision or uncertainty get in the way of living. Rather than scrape and claw at the multitudes of things that go wrong, are imprecise, or flawed in some way, just try to make what you have better. Make sure your general tendency is toward justice. It’s a sort of asymptotic function whose limit is perfection. Rather than focus on the impeccable (from the Latin, meaning without sin), just go ahead and round to a reasonable figure based on the task at hand.

   Look, we live in a world where there is no perfection. That is, like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, you can measure a particle’s momentum or position but the more precise you are about one, the less you know about the other. Life’s not perfect, get over it. You deal with what you have. So, with that said, imperfection is your natural state of being and death will come to you. Those are our boundary conditions. They contain the meat of the problem at hand, which is: How do you live the intervening space time.

   What about the rest? Well, the Prof said not to worry about them, because they don’t matter.
   

More translations to come, as I think of them. Perhaps a science-speak translation would be in order too, I dunno.

Yeah, you heard me right. Oh sure, Picard and his lot are all: "Some people believe in a higher power, but we here in the 24th century believe in the power of our human compassion, will, and nobility."

Bah! I say to you, Jean-Luc Picard. Bah! I say to you, Gene Roddenberry. Bah! I say to you, Rick Berman.

Two words: Prime Directive.

If that’s not belief in God, I don’t know what is. And it’s not just any God, but a Puritanical micromanaging control freak who’s already decided everything that will ever be decided.

Who came up with that Prime Directive shit anyway? Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t help you because it might affect some future event in a way such that it will not transpire in the natural (read: pre-destined) fashion. WTF? Is the future Federation a bunch of cowering Calvinists with their pre-destination crap?

I mean, really people, how did this escape unanswered for so long? Star Trek fans will go long and hard for the Prime Directive, that it’s somehow pure, clean, unencumbered by our messy superstitions, organized religion, God.

Look how advanced we are in the future, they say. That future is something for which to strive.

I suppose we look to that Prime Directive as some sort of ideal simply because we’ve seen how self-interested intervention in the affairs of other nations has ripped them apart and fomented so much suffering. The twentieth century, for example, is littered with meddling gone bad. Vietnam, possibly the crucible in which the Prime Directive was formed, is perhaps the best reason for its creation.

Then there’s the model of Switzerland, the model of, "Well, if you were meant to live, you will live. If you were meant to die, you will die. I cannot interfere." This Prime Directive of neutrality has somehow been held up as the ideal of behavior. We hold inaction as the highest morality. Do nothing, speak nothing, hear nothing, and all will cruise along at His will.

Don’t you see how loony it all is, you bunch of superstitious Calvinist freaks? We were not put here to play our parts in God’s little Broadway production, thank you very much. We were put here for, and only for, to live, to choose, to learn, and to love.

The noblest of all possible courses of action is not to withdraw, back away, and let it all transpire by some unseen hand. No, our best hope is to act in the best way that we know how with the information we have at moment. If a stranger needs a hand, we help him and damn the supposed later consequences. We don’t know much, and we can’t rely on God to push it all along like some divine universal machine.

Life is messy. We make choices. We make mistakes. We fail. We succeed.

What sort of world or universe would accept us into its cradle where we impacted nothing, did nothing, took no stock of our surroundings, and did not act as if we were the masters of our destiny.

No, Star Trek people, the Prime Directive is NOT good and noble. The Prime Directive is at best a "Hope for good but do not interfere" and at worst, a retreat from the universe of flesh and blood.

You may as well have not existed.

Host: We got this note from J a bit ago and have been waiting in anticipation for the Christmas season to figure out just what he’s saying. Christmas not about Christ?! How can that be. He’s the man though, so we figured we’d give him an opportunity to explain.

Welcome back, Jesus. I think we’re set here to beat the ratings from the last show.

Jesus: Cool, I’m glad to help.

Host: Okay, so you notice the decorations in the studio, right?

Jesus: Oh yeah, sure. I love it - the Santa Claus’s, the reindeer, the elves, garland, wreaths. I like the tree and presents too. Very festive.

Host: Doesn’t it bother you a bit, though? I mean, it is called Christ-mas. Doesn’t it bother you how secular it’s all become?

Jesus: I don’t think it’s secular at all. It’s actually all about giving and charity. Maybe sometimes we get carried away with buying stuff, but I’ll give you all points for getting close to the mark.

Host: So you don’t mind the secular giving aspect. How come though, you don’t like the Christ part?

Jesus: It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s kinda more along the lines of I’m a little bit embarrassed by the whole homage. Let me ask you something. My disciples called me Rabbi. What does rabbi mean in English?

Host: Anyone out there? You there in the middle.

Eli: Hi, my name is Eli. Rabbi means "teacher."

Jesus: Yeah, that’s it. They used to call me teacher. I loved teaching. A teacher is primarily what I am. Let me ask another question: if a student wishes to honor his teacher, how should he go about it?

Host: An apple? Clean the blackboard? Stay after class and organize books… do extra credit?

Jesus: Um, I think that’s probably called a sucking-up.

No, I’m after something simpler. Think about your teachers. Didn’t you kinda take them for granted? But doesn’t what they taught you stick with you to this day? Sure, a thank you is nice, but a teacher isn’t really doing it for the thanks. Look at the thanks I got, for Christ’s sake!

No, a teacher is happiest when his students fly, when he disappears into the wall, and his students take to the field and use that knowledge. A teacher takes the most joy in inspiring his students. A teacher loves his students. A teacher cares about what he is teaching. What he teaches is important. If the student thinks it’s important too… well, that’s all that’s required.

A student honors his teacher by following his teachings. A student that cares about the subject and seeks to improve and continue to learn is worth more than all the "Teacher of the Year" awards in the world. It’s even better than a fat salary.

So, Christmas is nice and all, but it’s sort of the shiny apple placed on my desk as you leave the classroom. I like apples, don’t get me wrong. I’ll eat the apple, but I’d prefer it if you would take my lesson home and eat it up instead.

So, Christmas? I like it. It’s a nice holiday, but I was born in September.

Keep up your good works. Keep and honor your brothers and sisters.

Happy Holidays!

Host (talking over applause): Welcome back to our show.  Jesus popped in just a few minutes ago, so we dropped everything and decided to give him some air time. He seems hot to talk to us, so let’s hear what he has to say.

Jesus: Dude! Long time no see. How’s it been going?

Host: It’s been going okay. We’ve been fielding a lot, and I mean a ton, of questions about belief, faith, do you exist, etc. Are you some sort of CGI character or a slick video edit?

J: Hmmm, I could be, but you know it really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter at all.

H: Okay, as always, you’ve got our attention. (audience buzzes with concern, whispers).

J: I’ll explain, don’t worry. Let me give you a heads up with what I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of months. And I’ll list them.

1. How is believing in Santa Claus any different from believing in me?
2. Does God answer prayers?

It’s kinda daunting when I put it like that, huh? I know, I know. You people sometimes think you’ve got me. Look, Jesus is like Santa Claus. I get it. I really do.

There are millions and millions of words written about why prayer doesn’t work, why miracles don’t happen, and why the breath of the universe has abandoned you on this insignificant blue world in the middle of nowhere.

I know it. I really do.

So, let me ask someone in the audience. Why am I different from Santa Claus?

Man (man gingerly raises hand): Hi, my name’s John, and you are different from Santa Claus because I can actually see you sitting there and you have saved me.

J: It’s nice to be recognized, John, but how do you know I’m me? I could just be a guy in flip flops in off the street from the local soup kitchen looking for some audience swag. How do you know who I am?

Man: You have a photo ID?

J: Nope. Let me help you guys out. You don’t. You won’t know it’s me. You can’t know it’s me. And you know what? It’s all right. Nobody expects you to. The short answer to the question: Why am I different from Santa Claus, is I’m not. We’re no different.

Host (palpable silence from the audience): Um, we’ve done enough of these to know you’ve got something up your sleeve… what is it, Jesus? Santa Claus doesn’t exist. How can you be no different from that?

Jesus: I’m just not. Look, let’s wade right into it, into that place you all fear to go. When we listen to those that would try to derail your faith, or explain away their own by saying that prayer doesn’t work, that the things for which you hope don’t come true, that miracles don’t happen, you will notice a pattern in their logic.

Want to know what it is?

H: YES YES YES… tell, us Lord!

J: Whoa, fella. It’s not that special. The straw man here is that everybody atheists and believers alike are looking for magic. You’re both looking at the same sweat stain of the Virgin Mary or weeping crucifix and saying alternatingly, ‘It’s proof that God exists’ or ‘It’s a hoax therefore God doesn’t exist’, and then there’re the fish eyes. Yikes, the depths to which you will all sink just to hold onto plausible deniability.

You’re all missing the point.

There is no magic. There are only knowns and unknowns, laws of the physical universe that you understand and those that you don’t. There is no Santa Claus. There is no God. Once you can throw out those two things, you can start to see the truth, see past the hoax, clear the fog and see for miles and miles and miles.

Once your mind is cleared from looking for me in the wrong places, you will be truly free. Miracles happen, if you look closely enough. Divinity is all around, in the smallest places, in the greatest places. Someday I promise you that spinal cords will be repaired. Someday I promise you that you will be able to grow back limbs, cure the blind the deaf. In fact, you’re already light years beyond where we were 2000 years ago.

It’s a miracle I tell you.

You have cars, efficient agriculture, civilized society (although you still have a ways to go), airplanes, space travel… the list goes on and on. I mean - get this - you people are actually considering plans to nudge asteroids on probable courses with your planet! It totally blows my mind. Do you know what a miracle that would be, and you’re starting to think about it!

Yeah, sure God doesn’t answer prayers, like Emeril, "BAM!" you’ve got new car. Congratulations. If you want that, get your ass to the Price is Right.

No, prayer, is more of a dream. If you dream something hard enough, you’ll get off your ass and make it happen, or talking about it will inspire someone else to do something. Or if you’re just around the hole enough, one day you’ll sink a hole in one.

Magic is either nowhere or everywhere. I know I just said magic doesn’t exist, but I had to kill it before I brought it back to life (little technique I like to use). Is it magic when a baby is born, when a flower blooms, when a cloud bursts? Just because you understand how something works, doesn’t mean that it is not special or mysterious. If you understand absolutely everything about a thing… you understand it so well that you find yourself contemptuous of it, take a step back and look with new eyes.

So here we are full circle. I wager no one in the audience would say they believe in Santa Claus. 

Except me.  I believe in Santa Claus.  I see him all the time in the mall. I see a ton of Santa Clauses, men who spend months perfecting their beards, honing their Santa Claus skills just to bring some joy to children at Christmas time. You adults know perfectly well where the presents come from, right? You’ve abandoned your simplistic view of Santa Claus, the guy with the flying reindeer who shoots up and down chimneys on Christmas Eve.  Why won’t you let your belief grow with your minds?  Santa Claus is alive and well.  I swear.  I know him.

Santa Claus is everywhere and he’s spreading. He started out as just a good man or a bunch of good men, they were real people who grew into legends who inspired others who then took that spirit, drank it in, imbibed it and became him.

And he’s here, alive in this room with us today. He died, but he’s here.  He came back.  And his love is everlasting.

Peace my brothers and sisters.