SAN FRANCISCO – An American linguistics student traveling in northern Iraq didn’t go on an ill-fated hiking trip because he had a cold — a twist of fate that prevented him from mistakenly wandering into Iran where his three friends were reportedly detained.

“Dude, we’re going to hike into the northern territory today – see if we can fuck with the border guards.”

“Um, I’m not feeling so well.  You guys go ahead without me.”

“Whatever – It’s gonna be a blast, pussy.  You can be lame if you want.  Cya.  Let’s roll.”

I think what he was really suffering from was an acute case of Not-Stupid.