El Gringoqueño

All a man needs out of life is a place to sit ‘n’ spit in the fire.

Month: December 2007

My Christmas Card Design

December 14, 2007 /

I had been itching to do some artwork for a Christmas card, both for personal and our company, Altamente. I tried a bunch of things, but ­I settled on this: ­altamente-christmas-card-page1-front.jpg­

We did a short run at a local printer.  Turned out very nicely.  I printed the friends/family one at Shutterfly.  I ended up being happier with the local printer.  Next time…

I wanted something that was typical to Puerto Rico, communicated home, holidays, but wasn’t wintery or traditional. It would be silly, of course, since we live in the tropics. Not all Christmas seasons are winter wonderlands. Personally, I’m not too keen on religious themes either. Not that I don’t like them, it’s just that their export is not as easy as one would believe when your clients (this card above) and friends (another card that doesn’t have the "Altamente" logo) are all over the map. I wanted them to get a card that they could happily put on their wall and enjoy, something different but cool. It turned out nicely, I think.
altamente-christmas-card-page2-right.png

­May we open the door to the hope that
is rebo­rn during Christmas. ­

That 200­8 b­e a year
where social commitment
and excellence are
the foundation of prosperity.

These are our most sincere wishes,

It sounds nicer in Spanish. Laura came up with that text. I used a font called BernhardMod BT.  I liked the way the taller letters and capitals are much taller than the lowercase.  There was something about this serif font that evoked elegance and an Old World feel.

altamente-christmas-card-page1-back.png

­

altamente-christmas-card-page2-left.png

­Typical D­oor
Spanish Colonial Style
Old San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Taken from this photograph by me.

2007_01_21_fiestas_de_san_sebastian_0038.jpg

I always snap pictures of these doors in Old San Juan. ­­­Anyway, I did the drawing in Inkscape and print layout in Scribus­. ­

Do you, in fact, have any nukes at all?

December 4, 2007 /

A short skit to read in the style of Monty Python’s Cheese Shop

Bush:  As a member of the axis of evil and state sponsor of terrorism, Iran is actively seeking nuculer weapons.  

Press: Do you have proof?

Bush: Why of course we have proof.  It’s how this administration operates.  We operate in the realm of truth. Truth is – well – truth.  If it wasn’t truth, it would be lies, and we do not lie.

Press: May we see it?  This proof?

Bush: Well, it’s classified, but trust me.  We have it.

Press:  Well, I have here in my hand an intelligence report which details that Iran stopped its nuclear program in 2003.

Bush: Ah, I see.  Well, there is that, I suppose.  But I’m afraid it’s a bit overstated.  You see.  They WERE actively seeking weapons of mass destruction and may do so again.  If they restart, which is probable, they could have them in a few years.  They could then use them to attack.

Press:  You just told us that they were actively engaged in a program to build nuclear weapons.  We now find out that they stopped and are not seeking to build nuclear weapons.  How is that truth?

Bush:  Ah, well, I did say that, didn’t I.  Look, this President defines "thinking about building nuclear weapons" as part of the process of obtaining nuclear weapons.  You see, you have to think about it. That’s research.  Some of that research could go on in the heads of scientists.  Who am I to say that they are not thinking about it actively right now?  Can you say what they are thinking about?  They could be thinking about it.  And that’s enough for me.  It could be a threat to the US or our interests if the Iranians are thinking about building a nuclear weapon.

Press: …

Bush:  You see.  Thought leads to action.  If you are thinking about something, then you are actively engaged in the process of doing it.  It is my job as Commander in Chief to head off these programs of thought that exist to destroy the United States.  Would you rather that we go about our business while they think their dirty little terrorist thoughts?  I don’t think so.  That is why I reserve the right to think about attacking Iran for their dirty little thoughts.

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