Haven’t written much lately… been concentrating on esoterica for
some reason. Lots of thoughts and emotions have been swirling in my
mind. It’s almost like the things I have been trying to come to terms
with all of my adult life are narrowing down, coalescing, reaching a
perfect limit. I am more sure of many things than I have ever been
before. I am cooking on one helluva long deep introspective soul
bearing post for the near future… but for now let me leave this here
as a reminder to myself that I need to get off my ass and write it.
My most common, and I believe most people’s most common mistake in
life is asking the wrong questions. A lot of conscious and good human
beings ask the question, "Why am I here? Why does the universe exist?"
Wrong questions both. I believe. No! I know! (The Matrix yields good
philosophy, eh?) These are the wrong questions to ask. THE question
should be, "What… What am I to do with my life?" Why am I here morphs
into an acceptance that I am indeed here… something that I KNOW…
that everyone knows. There is no belief, no faith, no reason to doubt.
It is as clear and beautiful and easy as anything that I or anyone has
ever known.
John Lennon’s "Imagine," used to irk me. It sounded blasphemous to
my young Catholic ears. But now that I am older, its wisdom is not in
the wish for no religion, no hell, no heaven, but a clear message of
"stop arguing and fighting over those things… those toys. You know
what, if you can’t behave, it’s better that the toys never existed.
These toys make you fight, and be selfish and fearful. What value are
they then?" - This works surprising well on children too.
The question left after you have made this obvious observation and
stopped riddling yourself with rounds of automatic doubt and fear, is
this: What are you going to do with this life you have?
This folds neatly into so many different philosophies, truths, and
ways and it’s so simple. Why the hell didn’t I see if before? Well, as
I later point out (Dragons and Rats),
we have this tendency to view saviors as slayers of dragons (Jesus,
Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Ghandi) rather than teachers
of rat killing. Which is why we decide to kill them when they fail in
their perceived mission. They all preached smallness, adherence to
simplicity. Be humble, empathetic, loving, do not do violence to one
another, respect, and challenge each other. Do not have fear. Instead we
fixate on our fear and believe that this person is going to slay it. He
will conquer the cause of our fear. He will dispell the Romans. He will
beat back the white people. He will deliver us from the British. He
will deliver us from Apartheid. He will grant us eternal life.
No, no, no, you fools! Actually, I could see Jesus today with a
group of college kids, "Dude, dude, that’s not what I’m after." Jesus wipes some wax onto his surfboard. "You’re
not gettin’ it. I’m not here to save your ass. I’m here to tell you
that I’ve been down with you since the beginning. Listen, I’ve got this
study guide here that’s gonna help you out tons."
We instead try to find the mystical. We look for signs of heaven.
Everlasting life. We look for bleeding wounds, pieces of cloth shaped
like I don’t know what. There was this case in Mexico I believe… or
was it Guatemala, where the concrete in the airport was sweating, and
the water stain was shaped like an image of the Virgin Mary. People had
put out flowers, lit candles, and were huddled around it praying for
their souls. Wow… we need so much, don’t we.
If we are scientists, academics, or just cynical, we say it (heaven,
hell, god) doesn’t exist. We argue that it doesn’t make sense. That
Christians are freaks and deluded, all the while we delude ourselves
with thoughts of "why" instead of "what."
If I could just knock their heads together, Christians and
Aethiests. Stop trying to prove or disprove the unprovable, the
unknowable. We could just wink out at the end of our lives, or carry on
in some celestial form. I don’t know. I don’t even believe.
Belief is for weenees.
Basically belief is just a holding pattern, a wait, for something
that can’t be known. Don’t believe you can, KNOW you can. I know this
is the message of all the great men and women of history - the
prophets, the Messiah, the leaders of civil rights, great people who
all had one thing in common. They all knew what they had to do. They
didn’t ask why (except maybe in darker hours, or during moments of
despair). They knew that there is no greater waste than to live life
waiting for the next. There is no more selfish act than to seek your
own salvation. And there is no greater travesty than to fear the great
frontier that exists at the edge of life.
It will take care of itself.
In the meantime, the "what do we do?" is crystal clear. We look to
others, help them with their pain, fear and doubt. We will clean their
wounds, comfort them in their sorrow, and struggle for peace. We cannot
do much as individuals - maybe all we can manage is to take up the small
battles and kick some rat ass.
Olaia, has this hilarious thing she has been doing lately. She
thinks she has super powers (too much Powerpuff Girls, I guess). When
she get’s tired she tells us that her powers are gone. Hehe. "Mommy,
Daddy, my powers are all gone."